On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree.
[why thank you my wonderful husband!]
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two turtle doves
[ what the, turtle doves? um.. he he thanks?]
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three french hens,
[ OK... whats the big deal about chickens breed in France?! this is getting out of hand]
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four calling birds
[ EEEEK EEEEK!!! WHY DID YOU SEND NOISE MAKERS IN MY HOUSE?!?!?!? TO PIERCE MY EARS?!?!?!?!??!?!?]
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, fiiiiive gooolden riiings
[ OH SURE!!!!! NOW YOU'RE SORRY. NEWS FLASH, you've got some nerve!]
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six geese o laying
[ Hey dude, do you know the supermarket is a block away?!?!? GET A LIFE!!!]
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 7 swans of swimming
[ THE VERY LEAST YOU COULD DO IS STOP SENDING USELESS GIFTS!!!!!!]
On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight maids of milking
[ YUCKO!!! eight COWS of milking is a little less inappropriate you know!]
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine ladies dancing
[ IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF ENTERTAINMENT?!?!!?!?!??!?!??!?! !#@$%^?%!!!!!]
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten lords o leaping
[ LEAPIN' LORDS ARE TO KAOTIC! I AM CONSIDERING DIVORCING!]
on the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 11 pipers piping
[ THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW, STOP SENDING ME STUFF OR YOU FACE THE UGLY TRUTH!]
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve drummers drummin'
[ THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO MOVE TO TIMBUKTU AND PROTECT MY PROPERTY WITH ELECTRICAL BARB WIRE PILLED TEN ACRES HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
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